Do you have to say “No?” to see? The answer is “yes”.
Gold-tone and thought-provoking thrillers Jordan Peele is back with “Nope,” an alien invasion movie set to be released on July 22.
Peele’s third feature film as a director follows two siblings grappling with the mysterious death of their father, the unruly behavior of their horses and the presence of strange phenomena on the family farm.
OJ, played by Daniel Kaluuya and his sister Emerald, played by Keke Palmer, attempt to document what they think is a UFO and advertisement per Peele, following clever mayhem and well-timed comedy.
As a writer and director, Peele always makes us think, question and speculate and with “Nope” he has inspired a bit of doom planning and alien preparation among us.
In honor of his latest movie, we take a look at each zodiac sign’s survival skills to determine who lives to see another sun rise, who dies trying, and who plays host, “Body Snatchers” style for the new wave. living on aliens. Read on for more information.
RAM (March 21 – April 19)
Fearless and curious, Aries volunteers to negotiate with the alien invaders. There’s hero energy to ram people and whether they’re wagging raging weapons or wagging their tongues, they’re the first to make contact and in a shock to absolutely no one, the first to die.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Hard working but slow moving, a Taurus will never run, but in the event of an impending invasion, bulls can be counted on to take cover in their well-stocked and well-equipped underground bunkers.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini is ruled by the planet of communication and is the linguist and resident s**t talker of the zodiac. It is fitting that they are the first to decipher the foreign language and learn it fluently, giving them an advantage as translators and the opportunity to become, possibly and likely, traitors.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
In astrology, Cancer represents the mother archetype and crabs survive, more or less, by offering their bodies as hosts. Crabs are typically insular, irritable, defensive, and difficult to read, so most people won’t be able to tell the difference.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
As the regal lion heart of the zodiac and the sign that best understands the power of PR, Leo extends the olive branch of diplomacy to the alien invaders and offers to provide media training a la “Mars Attacks.” They die, but not for the picture.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
After reading the collected works of Cormac McCarthy, HP Lovecraft and L. Ron Hubbard, Virgo has long been preparing for the disappearance of the grid, the pestilence to invade and/or aliens to invade. These earth signs survive on honed skill and the nectar of always being right.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Libras are notorious for avoiding ugly truths and unfailingly inert in a crisis. So the start of the alien invasion finds this cardinal air sign dropping downers and repeating the phrase “all is well” until they die of indecision.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Ruled by Pluto, the planet of sex, death and regeneration, Scorpios are designed to survive at all costs and are willing to go to extremes and terrible depths to do so. Not above mating with the enemy or subjecting themselves to strange experiments, Scorpios always live to fight and fuck another day.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Always open to travel, intergalactic or otherwise, Sagittarius survives by eagerly signing up for kidnapping. Their unwavering optimism and endless parade of bad jokes make them the target of rage and murder plots among their fellow inmates.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Built to endure and enterprising as ever, Capricorn survives and thrives by playing the long game. Adept at trading, they outsmart the enemy, will booze the aliens and trade for their lives with a hoarded supply of bath salts, board games and electric toothbrushes.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
All Aquarians are aliens, so no problems here folks.
FISH (February 19 – March 20)
Empathy knows no bounds, galactic or otherwise, and Pisces wield their compassion as a weapon of sorts, inviting the alien invaders into a circle of trust to explore Why they feel that they must overcome and master in order to feel seen and valued.
Astrology 101: Your Guide to the Stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers and extensively documented her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love of dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girl’s guide” to strip clubs, and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.