Jennette McCurdy — who claims she was abused by her late mother, Debra — stands by her decision to name her memoir “I’m Glad My Mom Died.”
“I get that it draws attention, but it’s also something I sincerely mean,” she said of the title during an interview on “Good Morning America” on Wednesday.
The 30-year-old “iCarly” alumnus explained that she didn’t use the title in a “flippant” way and believes people who have also been abused will understand the point she’s trying to get across.
“While the reactions may be mixed, I really appreciate the positivity I’ve received from many people,” she said.
“I think anyone who has been through parental abuse understands this title and I think anyone with a sense of humor understands this title.”
McCurdy added that she’s “not too concerned” about anyone else’s opinions, noting that “this book isn’t for them.”
McCurdy also shared that she still sometimes misses her mother, who died of cancer in 2013. However, she admitted she wouldn’t have written her memoirs if her mother were still alive, as she would still “let her define her identity.”
“Grief for me towards my mother used to be very complicated. I would be angry and confused as to why I was angry for grieving her,” McCurdy explained.
“I felt like she didn’t deserve my tears and my grief since she was abusive, but it simplified in a very relieving way and now I feel like I can just miss her. I think that’s only possible because of the healing that happened through the writing of the book.”
In her all-encompassing book, McCurdy details the abusive behavior her mother reportedly exhibited while growing up and during her rise to fame while starring in “iCarly” and the spin-off series “Sam & Cat.”
“I start getting smaller by the week as Mom and I work together to count our calories each night and plan our meals for the next day. We keep me on a 1,000-calorie diet, but I have this bright idea that if I eat only half of my food, I’m only getting half the calories, meaning I’ll shrink twice as fast,” McCurdy wrote in her tome (via ET).
“Every Sunday she weighs me and measures my thighs with a tape measure. After a few weeks of our routine, she hands me a stack of diet books that I quickly finish…I weigh myself five times a day. “
McCurdy claimed that when a doctor said she had anorexia, her mother denied she knew anything about dietary habits. She also shared that her weight had dropped so low that she used a booster seat in the car at age 14.
The actress also claimed that her mother would bathe her every time she showered and do “a breast and ‘front’ examination”, adding that when she was 16 years old, her mother even cleaned her legs. daughter would shave.
“She says she wants to make sure I don’t have any mysterious lumps or bumps because that could be cancer. I say okay because I definitely don’t want cancer, and since my mom has had it and everything, she would know if I did,” she wrote.
“I usually just try to think about Disneyland when Mom is taking the exams…By the time the exams are over, a huge wave of relief washes over my whole body and I usually realize that this is the first time that I feel my body since the exam started.”
McCurdy added that as she started to become famous, her mother began to hate her.
“Celebrity has driven a wedge between Mom and me that I thought was not possible. She wanted this. And I wanted her to have it. I wanted her to be happy,” she wrote.
“But now that I’ve got it, I realize she’s happy and I’m not. Her happiness came at the expense of mine. I feel robbed and exploited. Sometimes I look at her and I just hate her. And then I hate myself for feeling that.”
McCurdy also recalled the time her mother found out she had started dating but was not yet sexually active. She wrote in her book that her mother was verbally abusive, calling her a “DIRTY LITTLE LITTLE WE” and “nothing more than a little ST, a FLOOZY, ALL USED UP.”
Among other abuses, McCurdy claims that her mother also lied to her about who her biological father was. She says her eating disorder continued even after her mother died, but she has since sought professional help.
“My mother abused me emotionally, mentally and physically in ways that will forever impact me. She gave me breast and vaginal exams until 17 years old… When I was 6 years old she pushed me into a career I didn’t want… She taught me an eating disorder when I was 11 years old – an eating disorder that me of my joy and any amount of free-spiritedness I had. She never told me my father was not my father,” McCurdy wrote.
“Her death left me with more questions than answers, more pain than healing, and many layers of sorrow – the first sorrow of her passing, then the sorrow of accepting her abuse and exploitation of me, and finally, the sorrow that now comes up when I miss her and start to cry – because I still miss her and start to cry.”
Under her toxic relationship with her mother, McCurdy also claims she was offered $300,000 in hush money for not speaking publicly about her tenure on Nickelodeon.
She also shared why she hated her former co-star Ariana Grande.