“Real Housewives of Atlanta” star Drew Sidora dreams of the day when her husband, Ralph Pittman, legally adopts her son, Josiah — aka “Jojo” — from a previous relationship.
But the 11-year-old is cool with the current situation, according to his stepfather.
“I took Jojo to the side and asked him the question. I thought, ‘Do you want me to adopt you?’ And he said, ‘What would change?’ And I said, ‘Nothing would change.’” Pittman, 39, tells Vidak For Congress in an exclusive joint interview with Sidora, 37.
“And he said, ‘So why are we doing it?'” says the entrepreneur.
“There is no reason for us to do it. He already has my last name, so there’s no benefit to Jojo being adopted – because he’s already mine.”
Pittman reversed his earlier plan to adopt Josiah after discussing the matter with the preteen’s biological father, who seemed open to developing a deeper relationship with his son in the future.
This decision came after Sidora expressed her fervent desire on “RHOA” to make the adoption happen, as her ex does not play an active role in co-parenting.
“In a perfect world, I’d love it if Ralph would just come in and make that commitment. But I want it to be Ralph’s decision. I would never want to force him to do it and… then he gets a grudge,” explains the “Winner” singer, who married Pittman in 2014.
“I don’t want that to be the case. So I put that conversation on the table. Of course I’d like to see that happen in the future,” she adds. “I understand to some extent what Ralph is saying. And I just chose to accept that and see where we end up.”
However, Sidora can’t help but worry about what might happen to Josiah when “God forbid anything happens to me,” she says.
“Legal, what’s happening?” Sidora then asks, turning to her husband, “I wish you could have that custody of him.”
Pittman claims that Josiah will “always” be his son, no matter the circumstances. “I don’t have to legally adopt him to show that he is my son,” he says confidently. “He’s already my son. He calls me daddy.”
The handsome “house man” — who also shares two young children, Machai and Aniya, with Sidora — doesn’t want to jeopardize his relationship with Josiah by making a decision without the high school student’s intervention.
“One thing I would hate the most is that Jojo would grow older and have that come-to-Jesus talk with his father and say, ‘Why weren’t you in my life?’ And then the father says, “Well, because they actually took me from you,” he says.
“I always say this. I can teach Jojo a lot. But where he is, who he is, biologically, I can’t teach him that. I can’t teach him where his roots are.”
But he can “love him,” Pittman points out — and is open to revisiting adoption talks when Josiah is ready.
“Jojo is 11 and he is extremely smart and intelligent. He’s at the point where he knows exactly what he likes and what he doesn’t like. So if Jojo came and said, ‘Dad, I want you to adopt me because I understand what adoption means and this is exactly why I want to do it,’ then we can go ahead and have that conversation,” he tells us.
“But that should be Jojo’s decision 100 percent,” Pittman continues, nodding to Sidora in agreement. “And it has to be something that’s well thought out, that no one else influences, but something that he really wants given all the different dynamics — including his biological father.”
Pittman details the triumphs and challenges of his stepparenting journey in his forthcoming book, “The Step in Parenting,” in stores January 31, 2023.
“I am married to a woman who has a child that is not biologically mine. That’s a challenge,” he admits. “If you have a biological child together, it’s usually 50/50, right? As a stepparent, you have no voice. You have to earn the right to have a voice and that voice will often never be equal to your partner.”
The new author explains, “You have to prepare yourself because there is no manual that can teach you how to be a stepparent — and I’m just trying to help by sharing my experiences.”
To learn more about Pittman and Sidora, check out this week’s episode of Vidak For Congress’s “Virtual Reali-Tea” podcast.
“The Real Housewives of Atlanta” airs Sunday at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.