Chelsea Handler broke up with Jo Koy after dating for nearly a year because she realized “you can’t intrinsically change a person”.
The former ‘Chelsea Lately’ presenter talked about her breakup with her fellow comedian on the podcast ‘We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle’ on Thursday, saying she had to part with the relationship because she wanted to avoid breaking up if a result of bending too much.
“It’s nice to bow to people. It’s fun to learn how to compromise. It’s nice to learn how to publicly demonstrate my love. … I believe Jo needed that,” explained Handler, 47.
“I was so inspired by us, but Jo didn’t crack me open. My psychiatrist broke me open, and then I was open, and then I could bow to someone. …. But you cannot intrinsically change someone.”
The author of “Life Will Be the Death of Me” admitted that she “had the will to bend so much” until she reached “a line.”
“I’m proud of myself for not breaking that line myself,” she shared, later adding that they broke up about a month before announcing the news publicly.
Handler discussed how hard she’s worked to process her trauma through therapy and meditation, and suggested that Koy, 51, wasn’t necessarily willing to meet her halfway through.
“I understand wanting to avoid that, avoiding looking inward with that,” she explained, “and I think I’m in a place in my life where I need to be with someone who’s where I am with that.
“That doesn’t say anything about Jo Koy,” she added. “I love him and he is on his own path. If I have to choose one person, I have to choose myself.”
The “Chelsea” alum also took to her social media post, announcing the news, saying she thought Koy “needed to hear those things, and I really thought I should say them.”
“Nobody cheated or anything like that. It just didn’t work,” she explained. “I did everything I could to make it work, but it didn’t work. I wanted to make sure everyone knew this is a different me. This is the first time I’ve ended a relationship where I felt grown up.”
Despite the split, Handler credited the “Easter Sunday” star for reviving her love of stand-up comedy and inspiring her to write a new book.